im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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