he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
