p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
