All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
