i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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