theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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