just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Randomize
