Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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