I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
