did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
