i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
