The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
