no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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