she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
