Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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