East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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