he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
