I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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