big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
