Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
