just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I could fuck to npr.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
