drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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