Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
