can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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