It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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