I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
