Don't make out with my wife yet
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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