That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
