i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
