Ambien. No doubt about it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
