Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
