You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
