..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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