can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
