the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
