There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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