He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
