Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
