Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I did not marry a roomba.
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