C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
