fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
