walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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