careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
