oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
