so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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