I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
