Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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