guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Naked Twister starts at high noon
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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