When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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