I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
