$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
