where am i from again
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
