so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
